Monday, June 30, 2008

Dudley Square

Friday I left work, and as I was getting into my car, I heard somebody screaming. I turned around, and there was a lady who asked me if I came out of the food pantry. I said no. She then told me a story about staying in a shelter and somebody stealing her monthly T-pass, so she can't get to Fitchburg. If I had anything to help her get on the T, she'd take me and buy me something in the store on her EBT card (though she don't want to take food from her babies) for the same amount b/c she doesn't have cash. I told her I would go to the bank and cash a rebate check for 9 dollars and give it to her, and be back if she stayed there. She looked at me and said, "You're not going to come back. You just want me to stand here? Can't I ride with you?"--Ma'am, I don't know you. I can't put you in my car, but if you walk to meet me there, I will have it. "Okay."

I went and got the money and then I had to look for her. Why am I looking for her? Because she might believe me and if I don't find her, I play into her belief that people lie. Certainly they do, but I don't. There's a Bank of American bank and ATM. I went to the ATM. Guess where she went? To the bank. Well, I'm walking around looking for a homeless person (how do you lose a homeless person? deja vu Chicago) and the illegal taxi people are asking me if I need a taxi. (I have keys in my hand.) Then one of the women taxi drivers with huge sunglasses and a jacket in 90 degrees says,"I hope you not out here waitin on your boyfriend or no n%^&* that didn't show up....Because you are beautiful. Don't even need makeup. Don't ever wait for no n#$%^, sweetheart. If he care, he will be on time." Okay, I must remember that. I told her I was looking for somebody who needed help and she said,"They must have got help from somebody else. Don't wait for nobody."

I would hope that my imaginary boyfriend would not ask to meet in Dudley Square, but who knows? Last dude I met in Dudley asked me to go out to the movies or something, and when I told him to give me his email address, he said he didn't have email or a business card. (Flag!) Then he asked me for some money so he could get some food. (Yes, that's what I said. I gave him a dollar. We didn't go out.)

I looked down the corner and there was my homeless friend. In front of the bank. I gave her 10 dollars, she said thank you and commenced to conversation. "You growing locks?" No, ma'am. If it gets wet, the twists will come out. "Oh, you got baby hair." I just turned 30, so I don't think it qualifies, but I'll take it. "Thank you."

Lesson: Love Dudley Square. Don't wait on no _______. Don't lie to homeless people. (I know how it feels, and it only lasted 2 weeks.) It's almost like your boss lying to you about your raise.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Dirty 30, Part Deux AKA Puffy's New Rule Tour

Yesterday I returned home safely from my 30th birthday cruise with the JHU Crew. (Well, some of them...) In 2008, many of the class born in 1978 turn 30. Unlike most women who are embarrassed about getting older, we are fully embracing it. 29 was quite a stressful year full of lots of surprises (Chicago! Seminary! car accident. flood.) and so the breakthrough of 30 was a blast.

It started with a Thursday trip to NY to see Lalah Hathaway at the B.B. King Grill (Thanks Tami!) before my birthday. On my birthday, I slept late and got good phone calls. One from my student 'nephew' calling to tell me he was graduating and dropping the bomb that I had been chosen guest speaker at Young Achievers 8th grade graduation. I wasn't going to be at graduation but I promised I would figure it out. (Can't disappoint kids when they choose you.) Then I was taken out to a hibachi-style Japanese restaurant, followed by some Cold Stone Creamery with Kristin. (There is a rumor that I was on Brookline Avenue flashing people, but this is not true. If I was, I was showing people what 30 is supposed to look like. Since I did not get caught, photographed, or arrested...no offense taken and no evidence of such vicious lies scandalizing my good name.) That night I had to write 2 sermons for Sunday so the celebration had to be on hold. The Sunday after my birthday Kalya bought me a cupcake to church with at puppy? teddy bear? on it. It got squished between church services so I'm not sure which one. And my best friend from middle/high school (Charletta) showed up in church on a business trip and gave me pics of the twins. I had to preach two sermons, and the Body Odor sermon got some good response. There was even Febreze in the place. (yeah God!) And that Monday afterward, and JASA (Just A Sister Away- Young Women's Ministry at Bethel AME Boston) surprised me with cupcakes. Suffice it to say, I was feeling much love.

I decided I wanted to go race car driving and get some things checked off my 30 things to do the year of 30. That will be in July after things get boring. You're all invited...but bring your own money and a driver's license.

Monday I got a passport in 5 hours. (Finally a good thing about Boston.) Wednesday I spent writing this speech for the YA children and setting the stage for my invisible voice. Then I left on Thursday for a cruise with the JHU crew. 5 ladies. 4 days. 1 island. Lots of opportunity for sun and fun. And that is what we had. I have a collection of sexy and inappropriate t-shirts, so I took all of them. I didn't have cell phone service (Did you know that church teens and school jobs can send text messages to boats or find you in Nassau? They are trying to rival divine omnipresence.) and didn't make any decisions. Ribs or Salmon? Both. Ice cream? Yes. Fermented liquids? Yes. A tattoo? Sure. Two-piece? Definitely. I need proof of this one.

Proof I have, but pictures you will probably not see. Now I have just a couple tan lines separating the before 30 TJones from the after 30 TJones. Sore legs from dancing, another new nickname, almost allnighters, after dinner naps that turn into bedtime, bursting out into song and doing the macarena in line boarding the ship but watching other people karaoke the last night, and a endless list of quotes. This is now the summer of toasted cinnamonness, prohibition of _____a__ness, and Facebook secret codes with friends of 12 years. Isn't it good to be old enough to have friends for double digit years? Isn't it even better when college boys don't believe you when you tell the truth about your age? Definitely got to hit the gym...cause 40 is coming and I want a do over.

"If you can find it, you can have it." ---Anonymous but infamous