So maybe the classroom nostalgia was temporary because the classroom came to me.

Sunday after church with my youth congregational mass choir, I saw an old student online. I said hello, and entered into what started out being a confusing and disturbing conversation. Clearly this young man had forgotten who I was because he called me sexy, used slang, profanity, and misspelled words in conversation. (maybe it's not him) Then he proceeded to get frustrated because I was not a dude...because he is now into dudes. (I consider myself an open receptacle for student convo, but would he really come out to me? Let's see.) So I engaged in a conversation to feel this out. How long you been into dudes? -- I just realized this morning. -- What made you realize that? -- When I saw my (older) brother's "anatomy" -- Well, if you just realized this morning, you might realize something else later. Same rules apply for boys and girls. Be careful and go slow. (there are four of them so it could be any of them. let's clarify.) Which one is this? -- The one I taught (but not his nickname) -- You do know this is ms jones from YA, right? -- My teacher, right? -- (Bingo). Yes. -- Oooh snap. This is his friend (his name). I'm just getting him back for a joke he played on me. -- What did he do to you? -- He went on MySpace and said I was gay. LOL. It just kids jokes. -- (time to teach without teaching) -- Well, be careful. Some kids have gotten beaten up because others didn't like the idea of being gay. You guys should pick something less volatile, but still funny. --- True. Thanks for the advice. --- (Rehabilitate by offering safer alternatives.) Like having six toes or something, and then when they deny it, say they already had surgery. (My apologies to anybody who has six toes on one foot. I mean no disrespect. It was off the cuff ) --- You have good ideas! -- Thank you. -- Will you keep this secret? --

Before it was over, he told me how he got my student's password, what school he went to, and conferred on how people set themselves up. My student had saved his password on this kid's computer when he visited. He wanted to know why I talk to my students over IM, and I told him we did HW together that way. "oo that wat i call a gud teacher" I told him I would not tell if he agreed to change the joke, and we came up with other ideas. (His secondary ideas were rather simple and benign.) What if I say, "I'm an idiot." -- That works. (are you kidding me?) -- Thanks for being such a good help. -- No problem. In the future, just think about whether someone could get hurt in the prank. Then you would have to confess, and you'd get in trouble. Do whatever you have to do not to get in trouble, even if it is sacrificing a really good joke. -- Okay. Thanks. -- Have a good year "name." -- Alright Ms. Jones. U 2

You can imagine the myriad of emotions and thoughts that went through my head over the course of this conversation. Is this 14 year old really coming out to me? How will his Nigerian parents feel about this? Who else has he told? Why do these boys think gayness (they don't think in terms of homosexuality b/c media portrays gayness) is a joke? See the level and opportunities of torture and bullying and harrassment that is new since the WWW. When I was young, it was notes passed, word of mouth, or telephone. The underworld exists for kids and adults, even though they might not want to have anything to do with it, need to visit occasionally. Parent adults should be online as much as pedophile adults. Then you would have less pedophile adults. Imagine what could happen if the wrong person responds to his "im into dudes. i just realized this morning." talk. I was not about homosexuality for me, but safety and they should come out of their bubble long enough to recognize the variety of consequences for their actions. Then they think about their actions. Earlier I hope.

Yes, this must be obsessivity because beyond the offense, fear, compulsion to correct grammar, disagreement with the basis of the joke, nervousness about engaging in conversation about sexuality with a young person, desire to reprimand the prankster, and wanting to take a nap all took second priority to being available or teaching....With all the risks involved, this is why I keep a passport to the underworld. An hour later, my real student sends me an IM. "Ms. Jones, my friend said he got revenge with my teacher. Was it you?" Seems like friend told my student. Just maybe friend will think before he acts and still be able to have fun as a kid. Maybe I have a new student.

This time the classroom came to me uninvited. Thank God I didn't retire my thinking cap.