Till the Cops Come Knocking

You've heard this phrase..in Maxwell's song...as a cliche...But many of us never expect the cops to actually come knocking or have had this experience. Unless it really was at a great party. Well, Monday my dad called me and told me that to call me back because it was important. Whenever my dad says its important I think somebody died or missed a cruise ship and is stranded on an island, and I call back ready for bad news.

According to Daddy, there was no notice, but the sheriff's deputies showed up at the house on Sunday 'round noon with a summons for me. (I rolodex all recent incriminating activity in VA
...none.) I was supposed to appear for jury duty the prior Tuesday and did not. He chuckles and says they'll get you for jury duty in my hometown before they will for murder. Maybe to feel sense of accomplishment?

Let's clarify. I am no longer a resident of VA. I haven't paid taxes there since the 1900s. I am registered to vote in MA because of Deval Patrick's campaign and have served jury duty in MA
within the last six months. I have a license from some other state, but technically I am a student. And most recently a fugitive from the Commonwealth of VA. How do we fix this? (I'd like to be able to cross state lines to visit family and get a hoagie from Pino's downtown. I avoided incriminating pictures on the cruise because of this teaching and ministry career. This could nix all my good behavior for the denomination. ;)

Well, Daddy says, "Call this number when you get a chance and ask for Jackie, so-and-so's wife.
Tell her you're my daughter and she'll take care of everything. If you can't get her, ask for Mrs. Connell. Jackie is going to lunch around 1." He says I know these people, but I only know of one of them. I call and Jackie is on vacation. Mrs. Connell is at lunch, and I don't have time to keep calling back for them, so I begin explaining the situation. I get V. Earl Stanley, the Clerk of the Court (for like 56 years by now), and he tells me it was my dad who didn't show up for jury duty. I told him that BLJSr should be at the house if he needed to find him. (joke, I'd never dime my dad out) to write a letter to him stating I am a nonresident with my new address. A letter? Not even an email? Good ole' Brunswick County.

Hmmm. I've had about 8 addresses since I left high school. He only getting one. I don't need to go home until August. I love my dad. He's so nonchalant. My brother told me that I better get it straight or he'll be buying cigarettes. (I don't smoke.) I wonder if they had the Wanted posters made yet. What picture will they use? I still look my high school senior pic unfortunately.

Oh, well. Dear Clerk of Court,

Please don't send the cops knocking. I don't live in Alberta anymore. I moved 12 years ago, and now live in Boston.

Sincerely,

Mr. Jones' daughter (there's only one)